Lord, I'm ready for home

I would never wish to be a burden to anyone. In life, and in death - such a miserable certainty.  The wrinkles are setting in, the muscles are saggy, the body is weaker ....the aging process sets in.
The children don't need me anymore, the communication is limited, the questions and answers come out of necessity, the conversations limited to what's necessary only, Paris was the last bastion of real togetherness. Thank God we had those times.

My job is done, Lord. I don't want to grow old in obsoletion and without the comforts of a life I'm used to.

This must be the lament of most aging people.  And isn't it depressing to be networking and moving around the old, and being a pain to the young hahaha....

musings

my mother used to say that children will not appreciate their mothers until they themselves become mothers - then they will understand the struggles, the joy, the sacrifices...

learning from my father, who used to only eat white rice with salted fish and soya sauce, leaving all the good condiments and dishes to us children (and we all thought he loved salted fish), i now understand.... whatever i cook, order, or buy, i always allocate enough for the children.  if i do a take-away, i always take enough for the kids.  if there isn't enough, i will sacrifice my portion, telling the kids that i'm full or I don't like it.
when i cook, be it for guests, or self, i would always allocate some for the kids....

but children don't pay that much attention to it. when they cook, they only cook for themselves, their partners, and whatever the occasion is.  they don't think to keep or allocate a portion to their mother; and even if expressly asked, they will forget to keep a portion..... "because there wasn't enough"..

oh well, when they become mothers, they will appreciate and understand....